Welcome to Holland - my story (part1)

This is a letter I should have written a long time ago. http://www.our-kids.org/Archives/Holland.html wrote a blog post a while ago describing that having a special needs child is like preparing for Italy and then landing in Holland. Here is my travel record:

When I got pregnant we were so excited. We already had an adorable little girl so adding another child to the family made us very happy. Finding out a few months later that we were having a boy made us even more excited. In fact, when we finished with our ultrasound, I called our parents and told them "It's a bris instead of it's a boy". The excitement grew as the pregnancy progressed. The pregnancy was textbook and everything went as it should. The only blip on the radar was a single incident that his heart rate was low and I had to have some extra monitoring, but all was good. My husband was the typical dad to be all a glow in that he would have someone to carry his family name, someone to teach how to hit a ball, all the typical dad thoughts about "my son".

Like all expecting mothers, I read all the books, watched what I ate, and thought about how to decorate his nursery in our home. As I was superstitious, I didn't add anything to his room until after he was born. I did go and order some items to get us started that would be delivered after delivery. When I finished working in my 39th week, I thought OK I am ready. My bag was packed from week 36, the freezer was stocked with food, and everything was in place. All we needed was a baby.

On the day of his due date I went into labor. 18 hours later our son was born. I remember it was a cold Sunday afternoon on December 6. He was born at 4:30 PM. He weighed about 3.5 KG and had a head full of hair. How much joy I had over hearing his cry. He was born at Hadassah Hospital Har Tsofim campus. The hospital policy was that the first 6 hours after birth the babies had to be in the nursery. This was fine with me as I was exhausted. I went to sleep and woke up just before 8PM. Jason had gone home to be with Talia our oldest and to make phone calls. I went to the nursery to see our baby. When I got to the nursery, our son was not with the other babies. Nervously, I scanned the room. After what felt like minutes but was probably seconds, I found him. He was wrapped in a swaddling blanket and was in a warming bassinet. The nurse must have seen a worried look on my face because before I could even say anything she said, he's a bit cold no need to worry. I took him back to my room so we could begin our "rooming in". He was very sleepy and I thought "OK I am tired too, I will give the little guy a break".

He barely woke up that night but he did breast feed a few times although he had a lazy mouth and couldn't really latch on properly. The next morning, Jason went to work leaving me alone in the hospital with the baby. He seemed perfect! He was chubby, cute, and had a very pink complexion. He wasn't fussy and he loved to be held. When afternoon arrived, his big sister came to visit with Jason. Talia loved her little brother and was so excited to hold him. She couldn't wait to bring him home and when I told her "tomorrow" she jumped up and said - yay!"

As a gift Talia got a "big sister" sweatshirt from her little brother. The next day the doctors made rounds and I was cleared to check out. They told me that the pediatrician had to sign out the baby so brought him to the nursery for the doctor to check him and to run the necessary blood tests. And then I waited... and waited. After what seemed like forever the pediatrician came in my room said "you will go home tomorrow" today we need to run a test. I asked what was wrong and the doctor said "there is a murmur in his heartbeat" and then he paused and said "it is common so don't worry. we are running an echo cardiogram and we are sending it to Hadassah Ein Kerem so that the cardiologist can read the results. He made it seem as if it was a standard procedure. As I had never had a child with a murmur before I thought, OK he must be right and called everyone to let them know we would be in the hospital for one more day.

The next day took forever for us to get cleared to go home. In the end our son did indeed have a heart condition. He had 2 small holes in his septum that separated his right from his left ventricle. This type of defect is called a VSD or a Ventricular Septum Defect. The doctor assured me this was very common and thought that it would close on its own. Ventricular septum defects are among the most common congenital heart defects, occurring in 0.1 to 0.4 percent of all live births and making up about 20 to 30 percent of congenital heart lesions. According to http://www.cincinnatichildrens.org/health/v/vsd/, Ventricular septum defects are probably one of the most common reasons for infants to see a cardiologist." I put my trust in Dr. Rein the cardiologist and Jason and I brought our baby home.

Our house was filled with people by the next day. My parents arrived from NY, Jason's parents came from Ra'anana. Jason's sister lived around the corner and my brother was still in the US. With a house full of guests and our baby at home, all we needed now was a bris. I mean it is what every parent of a newborn boy thinks about, isn't it. A couple of days following our baby's birth it became apparent that a bris shouldn't be the thing we should worry about.
(end of part 1)